random amusements

Friday the 13th got me, sorta…

I was planning on making lemon chess pie—for the first time ever—and while transporting my crust to the fridge to chill while I combined the filling ingredients, I tripped on my slipper and almost fell.

The tart pan went flying and although I caught it in one hand, it is the pan with the lift-out bottom, so the whole thing just toppled to the floor.

Much swearing. Stupid slippers!

Bravely, I looked in the pantry but there was no more Jiffy pie crust mixes so I gave up on the lemon chess pie. However, I still had some reserved dough because the Jiffy mix makes two 9-inch crusts, and the tart pan isn't big enough to utilize the entire amount of pie dough.

What to do…what to do…

My (brilliant) idea was to make two little tiny pies, using my grandma's mini pie dishes. So I rolled out the dough and fit them into the pie plates. Filling? Hmmm…

Casey loves chocolate, and we've sorta been on a nutella kick, so I combined a leftover partial box of cook & serve chocolate pudding with a little milk and mixed in about, I dunno, maybe a tablespoon of nutella. Filled the deeper pie dish and popped it into the oven, which was still heating to 325˚. Set it for 20 minutes, having no idea how long the pudding would need to cook in the oven. Guess and check.

Meanwhile, I started on my other mini pie, which I had decided would be strawberry. Grabbed a small sauce pan and dumped about 1/4 cup of strawberry jam into it, 6 or 7 frozen strawberries, and a little water. Cooked to thaw out the berries, blend in the jam, and boil it down. Added a smidge of flour to thicken it. Poured into pie crust. Set it aside.

Then I began working on my next project: almond coffee cake. Recipe to follow tomorrow, because I actually have to jump in the chowder* right now. Sorry!

BTW, the chocolate pudding pie took a total of 35 minutes, and after the first 20, I had to turn the oven up to 400˚. Then the strawberry pie went in for a total of 25 minutes. Both are cooling, and look to be setting up well.






NOTE: "jump in the chowder" = take a shower

Hawaiian Pizza

When I met my husband, he was living downtown Chicago in a 6,000 sq. ft. loft with two roommates, and drove a black A4...then I transplanted him to the 'burbs and he traded in his A4 on a Dodge pick-'em-up truck... Tee-hee! He and Jack and Dan used to order Hawaiian pizza from a place called Ogie. The pizza I made tonight is just as good, he says, and it probably won't last until the end of the Hawks game tonight.

Hawaiian Pizza

1 box Jiffy pizza crust mix
1/4 to 1/2 c. BBQ sauce (your choice)
6 oz. ham, chopped
3 slices canned pineapple, chopped
8 oz. (2 cups) mozzarella, shredded

1. Mix crust according to package instructions.
2. Flatten and fit dough onto your 14" pizza pan.
3. Pre-bake crust for 4 or 5 minutes, just until it begins to "puff up" a little; remove from oven.
4. Slather crust with BBQ sauce, and then apply toppings.
5. Cover with cheese.
6. Bake at 425˚ for 15 to 20 minutes, checking doneness at regular intervals until the cheese is melted to your liking. (I like it a tiny bit browned! Yum!)
7. Cut and serve.

I'm getting anxious!!!!


Ahhhh....done!!!!

Feelin' Crabby...

Some people object to packaged imitation crab meat, but personally, I love the stuff. This is a simple dinner that does not take a lot of time and effort. And it tastes good. You really cannot go wrong with butter and bacon, you know.

Crab-Bacon Pasta

4 slices turkey bacon, chopped
2 T. butter
2 T. flour
3 c. milk
1/2 package imitation crab meat, chopped
1 clove garlic, minced/pressed
2 T. lemon juice
1/2 c. parmesan
1/2 box farfalle (bowtie pasta), cooked
salt and pepper to taste

1. Sauté bacon in large frypan; add butter.
2. Once butter is melted, add flour and mix well.
3. Gradually add milk, stirring constantly.
4. Stir in crab meat, garlic and lemon juice; add parmesan.
5. Simmer to thicken; add more milk if it gets too thick or lumpy.
6. Serve over bowtie pasta.
   

Too Darn Easy...

This dinner is so easy, I don't know if it really even counts as "cooking." I was thawing a package of ground turkey, wondering what to do with it, when my husband suggested Sloppy Joes for dinner. Brilliant!

Sloppy Joes

1 lb. ground turkey
1/3 of a large onion, minced
1 T. butter
2/3 to 3/4 c. BBQ sauce (your choice)
1/2 c. water
bread or hamburger buns

1. In large skillet, sauté onion in butter until slightly browned. Remove from pan and set aside.
2. Place ground turkey in pan and cook until browned.

3. Add onion back in, along with BBQ sauce and about half a cup of water. Mix well and allow to simmer—to soften onions and blend flavors—until some of the water evaporates.
4. Serve on buns with tater tots on the side (a better/healthier choice than potato chips or French fries, believe it or not).

GONE!

random amusements

The first flower of spring!

A little blurry, yes, but this is the first little bloom that has come up in my front flower bed. It's a viola, which is one of my very favorite flowers. Isn't it adorable?

Violas and pansies always look happy, in my opinion. It's hard for me to look at a viola or pansy and not smile. So I just thought I'd share this little bit of spring with you.

I hope it makes you smile too.

"Christmas Bars"

My dad and his brothers looked forward to these bar cookies every year at Christmas. Despite the name "Toffee Squares" they neither contained toffee, nor were cut into small squares. So they started calling them "Christmas Bars". Sticking with tradition, I make these for the holidays, and sometimes a batch for Kevin on his birthday…which is coming up, in fact!

Chocolate Toffee Squares (a.k.a. Christmas Bars)

1 c. butter (2 sticks)
1 c. brown sugar
1 egg
2 t. vanilla
2 c. flour
12 oz. chocolate chips
1/2 c. chopped nuts (optional)

1. Beat butter and brown sugar together until fluffy. Add egg and vanilla; beat well.
2. With mixer, beat in 1 cup of flour; then stir in a cup of flour by hand.
3. Spread evenly into UNGREASED 9x13 baking pan.
4. Bake 15 minutes at 350˚.
5. Melt chocolate and spread over baked crust.
6. Sprinkle with chopped nuts, if desired.
7. Cut bars while chocolate is still warm.

Polish Stir-Fry

I gave this a funny name because I didn't know how else to describe it. If you want an easy and quick meal, this one is definitely for you.

Polish Stir-Fry

1 pkg. Skinless Turkey Sausage (or Polish Kielbasa), cut into bite-sized chunks
1/2 head cabbage, chopped/shredded
1/2 Vidalia onion, chopped
1 clove garlic, pressed/minced

1. In a large skillet, sauté onion until it starts to look clear, then add cabbage. Sauté until cabbage begins to brown.
2. Add sausage chunks and garlic; continue cooking until meat is warmed through (you don't need to cook it; maybe just brown it a little).
3. Serve with fresh sliced apples on the side. And a big glass of milk, which somehow finishes the meal just perfectly.
   

NOTE: I have tried adding other ingredients to this recipe, and it's best when it is kept simple, as listed above. However, I will grant you permission to adapt it to suit you own taste...

random amusements

Do you have a favorite coffee mug? Do you have a few that only you are allowed to use? Do you cry if one breaks?!

Coffee mugs

Does it seem like morning comes too fast? Did you stay up late reading last night? Are you almost too tired to drag your ass out of bed today? Is it foggy and raining where you are, too?

Am I ever going to quit with the questions?!

Ah, you just need a cup of coffee. Don't worry about it. Drink your coffee.

I have several "favorite" coffee mugs. I keep them segregated from the everyday coffee mugs. Seriously, they have their own shelf in the cabinet above the coffeemaker. I admit it: I'm selfish with my coffee mugs. Like the child who wants the bite of food off of your plate instead of his/her own, I would want to use the coffee mug I just gave you, should I be foolish enough to decide to share. Can't help it…take it or leave it, that's the way I am.

But I will share that big pot of coffee I just made. No problemo. Have all the coffee you want. Just not in MY mug. None of them.

I'm really not a possessive person. I just have this weird quirk about my mugs.

There are several in the regular drinkware cabinet that you can choose from, however. Nice ones, too. A pair from a Florida restaurant called "Shells" with a colorful logo on the front. Two Starbuck's mugs that I pilfered from a previous job place (company folded, so it's irrelevant; plus, the statue of limitations has passed!) There are two clear cobalt Starbuck's mugs that I'll allow you to use, too. And we have a set of standard white mugs that came with a set of dishes, I think…?…they may be Stonewall Kitchen ones, so those are good quality mugs. I don't know why you'd have to use one of MY mugs. *rolls eyes*

Don't worry about it—just drink your coffee…

Here are some photos:

There's a Swede in my kitchen…

…it's me. I'm part Swedish, from my dad's mother's side of the {dysfunctional} family.

When Amy passed away, she left behind a green index card file box that contains many decades of collected recipes; some from her own Swedish mother, and many that she just accumulated from newspaper clippings. Uncle Kevin has located this file box—which is now in my possession—and I am very carefully looking through it.

Although she was not necessarily the warmest person around, Amy did make the best blueberry pie EVER. Her spritz cookies at Christmastime were also very yummy; and, don't forget the 'famous' Chocolate Toffee Bars, known to my dad and his brothers as "Christmas Bars."

From my childhood, I recall going to her house at Easter, where she always made this cake that looked like a bunny…don't know if I care to replicate that one, as it was….ah, what's the right word?…not bad, just…gimmicky? I dunno, perhaps the locusts nextdoor would be amused by it? In which case, you may see bunnycake photos here early in April…

The only other thing I can specifically remember about her cooking—remember, we were never close—was her roast beef, which was very tasty. And I know the secret to that one, so I'll have to share that with y'all later.

"Y'all"….hmmm, doesn't sound very Swede, huh? Are there rednecks in Sweden, I wonder? Sounds like a joke: what do you call a Swedish redneck? LOL. I'll have to ask Anders Eriksson about that one when he comes over to help me with landscaping this summer… ((inside joke/hockey reference))

Enjoy the photos…more to follow, along with recipes as I test them.

Recipe request — low-carb appetizers

My good friend Amy was looking for something to make that wouldn't completely derail her diet when she went to a club meeting where temptations would lie in wait. I made a few suggestions—including deviled eggs—and then decided I'd post a couple more things to help her out…

Deviled Eggs

10 hard-boiled eggs, allowed to cool
1/2 c. Hellman's Light Mayo
1 to 2 t. yellow mustard, depending on your own taste
dash of salt, to taste
paprika for garnish

1. Peel eggs and cut them in half, lengthwise. Carefully scoop yolks out, into a small mixing bowl, and arrange whites on a platter or tray.
2. Smash egg yolks with a fork to break them up, then add mayo and blend until lumps are gone. Add 1 t. mustard and salt; blend and stir to mix well. Taste it, and decide if you want more mustard tang to it or not.
3. Using the fork (yolk mixture will stick to a spoon too much!) fill egg white shells with the yolk mixture. Try to get them as evenly filled as possible, but understand that they'll never be perfect. Don't obsess!
4. Sprinkle with a dusting of paprika to garnish, but don't over-do it, or they can taste bitter with too much paprika.
5. Be sure to cover with plastic wrap or seal in an air-tight container in the fridge until ready to serve. They will taste better chilled, FYI.

Spinach Dip

1 c. Hellman's Light Mayo
1 c. Breakstone's Reduced-fat Sour Cream*
1 pkg. frozen chopped spinach, thawed and drained well
1/2 c. Parmesan
1 can water chestnuts, chopped fine
2 T. chives (dried; not fresh)
1/2 t. salt dash of garlic powder

1. Mix sour cream and mayo together in a bowl.
2. Add spinach and stir well to blend.
3. Add Parmesan, water chestnuts and chives; mix well.
4. Add salt and garlic powder; taste, and adjust seasoning as needed.
5. Serve with raw veggies such as: celery sticks, baby carrots, broccoli and cauliflower florets, cucumber slices, whole fresh mushrooms, and radish halves.

* NOTE: Ironically, the Breakstone's Reduced-fat has less carbs than the Fat-free.

Croustade Appetizers

These bread shells—or croustades—can be used with any number of fillings that your imagination can come up with. In the past, I put a mushroom-cream filling in them and they were especially well-received by party guests.

Apricot & Goat Cheese Bites

12 pieces bread (white or wheat)
1 pkg. (4 oz.) plain goat cheese
1 clove garlic, crushed/minced
1 jar apricot preserves

Using a rolling pin, flatten a slice of bread completely. With a 2-inch biscuit-cutter, cut out 2 rounds from the flattened bread.


Press cut-out bread into well of a mini muffin pan. Repeat to use all bread. Save scraps for another use.


Place an empty muffin tin on top of the filled one, to keep the bread shaped into the correct form.

Bake at 400˚ for 5 to 10 minutes, until browned and crispy. Keep an eye on them! Remove to wire racks to cool.

Mix goat cheese with garlic in a bowl.

Fill each "croustade" with a goat cheese and a dab of apricot on top.
Serve immediately.


Mini muffin pan, and individual tartlet pans:

Southwestern Chicken Chili w/ Biscuits

I made this dinner to take next door, and it was devoured by "the locusts," and greatly enjoyed by all. You can put your own little twists on it, depending on taste preferences.

Southwestern Chicken Chili w/ Biscuits

2 to 4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into cubes
1 T. olive oil
1 can (28 oz.) diced tomatoes
1 can (6 oz.) tomato paste
1 c. water
1 package chili seasoning mix (your choice of hot or mild)
1 can (15 oz.) black beans
1 can (15 oz.) red beans
1 1/2 c. biscuit mix
1/2 c. corn meal
2/3 c. milk (or buttermilk, if you have some on hand)
1 c. shredded cheddar

1. Heat oven to 425˚.
2. In small mixing bowl, mix biscuit mix with cornmeal and milk. Set aside.
3. Sauté cubed chicken in olive oil until meat is white on all sides.
4. In 9x13 baking pan, mix chicken with tomatoes, tomato paste, water, seasoning, and beans.
5. Bake chicken mixture for 20 minutes, then carefully remove pan from oven, and drop biscuit mix to form separate mounds on top.
6. Return to oven for 10 to 15 minutes until biscuits are browned.
7. Sprinkle with cheese before serving.

NOTES: You can add canned green chilies to spice this up. Use more, or less chicken, depending on how many people you intend the dish to feed. Also, if you choose, you can mix the cheddar into the biscuit mix to make cheesy biscuits on top.

I love postatoes...

Yes, I meant to say "pos-tatoes"...just a quirk of mine—I don't even know why I say it.
Somewhere I have a recipe for a twice-baked potato casserole, which I will have to track down, cause it's really good, too. But these are yummy:

Twice-Baked Buttermilk Potatoes

2 large baking potatoes
2 T. butter, melted
1/2 c. buttermilk
1 c. sharp cheddar, finely shredded
1 T. fresh minced chives –OR- 1 t. dried chives
1/4 t. garlic powder
salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
paprika for garnish

1. Microwave the potatoes until tender but still firm, about 4 minutes.
2. Allow to cool—at room temperature, they have less chance of falling apart when you scoop them out.
3. Heat oven to 350˚.
4. Scoop out the centers, leaving a firm, 1/4-inch-thick shell.
5. Mash the scooped part in a small bowl, then stir in the melted margarine, buttermilk, and seasonings.
6. Fill the shells; dust the tops with paprika.
7. Bake at 350˚ for 15 to 20 minutes, or until heated through.

Grandma's Baked Beans

I have not made these in years...not sure why. It's a really tasty recipe, and it warms up your house, leaving a delicious cooking fragrance to linger. We won't talk about what happens *after* you eat the beans... ;-)

Grandma's Baked Beans

2 lbs. dry navy beans, soaked in cold water overnight
1 sweet onion, chopped
3 cloves garlic, pressed
1 c. molasses
1/2 c. brown sugar
2 T. soy sauce
2 t. Worcestershire sauce
1/4 t. dry mustard
8 oz. uncooked bacon, chopped
4 T. butter (no substitutes)

1. You've already soaked the dry beans in cold water overnight. Now, drain beans and place in large oven-proof stockpot (grandma would have used a big cast iron pot). Add enough water to cover the beans by 1/2 inch (maintain this throughout cooking).
2. Over low heat, simmer beans about 30 minutes.
3. Heat oven to 300˚.
4. Stir all other ingredients—except butter—into beans, put lid on pot, and bake for about 3 hours, stirring to check the consistency once in a while. Add water, if needed—you don't want them to dry out.
5. Remove lid, stir well, add butter on top, and bake an additional 1 to 1 1/2 hours, until a nicely browned surface forms.

NOTE: upon serving, be sure to warn people they're HOT—they just came out of a 300˚ oven!

Favorite Salad

This recipe is an amazing combination of not only flavor, but of texture as well. Everyone I have served this to has been floored by its simplicity and fantastic taste. It's JST's favorite salad ever…need I say more? LOL!

Pear Salad with Poppyseed Dressing

12 ounces salad greens (such as red leaf, green leaf, butter, or romaine mix)
1 1/2 c. (8 ounces) feta cheese, crumbled
2/3 c. pecans, chopped
2 fresh pears, peeled, cored & sliced (ripe but still firm is best)
1 c. seasoned croutons – optional
1 jar (15 fl. oz.) T. Marzetti's Poppyseed Salad Dressing

1. Prepare greens by rinsing, drying, and tearing any larger leaves into bite-sized pieces.
2. Toss the feta and pecans into the greens. (add croutons if you'd like)
3. Arrange the pear slices on top of the salad, and if you are not serving the salad immediately, lay a piece of plastic wrap directly on the surface of the salad so that the pears do not discolor.
4. Serve with T. Marzetti's Poppyseed Salad Dressing.

Sweetcream Biscuits

This is kind of a lot of work if you're not accustomed to making your own biscuits. But it is totally worth it in the end.

Sweetcream Biscuits

1 3/4 c. sifted flour
2 T. sugar
1 T. baking powder
1/2 t. salt
6 T. (3/4 stick) chilled butter, cut into pieces
3/4 c. chilled whipping cream

1. Preheat oven to 450°.
2. Sift flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt into large bowl.
3. Using pastry blender, cut in butter until mixture resembles crumbs.
4. Add whipping cream and stir until just combined; do not over-mix.
5. Turn out onto lightly floured surface and knead just until dough forms.
6. Pat out dough to 1/4-inch thickness (no rolling pin required; they don't have to be perfect!). Cut out rounds using floured 1 1/2" diameter cutter.
7. Gather dough scraps and pat flat to 1/4-inch thickness. Cut out additional rounds. Repeat gathering, patting, and cutting out dough rounds until all dough is used.
8. Transfer rounds to ungreased baking sheets (you can crowd them a little).
9. Bake until golden brown, about 10 minutes.

Makes about 6 dozen!

Useful Tools: Pastry Blender

This item is something that no baker should be without. Whether you're planning a quiche crust, shortbread cookies, or even meatloaf, the pastry blender is your best friend.

Useful Tools: Pastry Blender

How many times did you have to read this line before someone finally explained it to you?: "Cut butter into flour."

THAT is what you use a pastry blender for! AH-HA!

Following your recipe, you'll want to put the measured flour in a bowl first, then measure out the correct amount of butter for the recipe. Cut it into slices and drop them haphazardly into the flour.

Grab your pastry blender!

Squish the butter by pressing down ruthlessly, lift pastry blender, and deliver another blow. Keep doing this, and move some of the flour around, until you stop seeing the chunks of butter. Eventually, what you will end up with is a moist-looking flour that's kinda lumpy.

Success!


IN STORES:
K-Mart: Wilton Pastry Blender
Bed Bath & Beyond: OXO Good Grips; and Wilton Pastry Blender
(NOTE: I didn't actually LOOK at these stores, but they are supposed to have them in stock.)

ONLINE:
Pastry Blender 5.25"x4.5"

"Pasty Pro" Pastry Blender Sale: $14.99 (regular $19.99)

"Pasty Pro" Pastry Blender by Kitchen Innovations

Baker's Pastry Blender by Wilton

Pastry Blender (5-in.) Good Grips by OXO

Pastry Blender (5.25-in.) by Cuisipro

Stainless Pastry Blender by Johnson-Rose Corp.

A confession...

...I just killed the Itsy-Bitsy Spider!

You know the one: climbed up the water spout, et cetera, et cetera? Well, not any more.

His last climb happened to be up the mirror in my master bathroom. I was flossing a bit of, well, something out of my teeth, and movement caught my eye. Before I knew what I was doing, my thumb landed right on him, and SQUISH...

I would say I'm sorry, but I'm just not that big a liar. I hate spiders. Even the itsy-bitsy ones.

There's a particular scream I involuntarily produce when I see a spider, in fact. My husband calls it "the bug noise" and comes running with a kleenex whenever he hears it. It's a very high, blunt, and desperate sound, which could most closely be found in nature when your wet sneaker skids on a supermarket linoleum floor. Yeah, sorta like that. Maybe a little bit more human-vocal-range, though. I'm not Mariah Carey, you know.

Please don't tell your kids. I don't want them thinking I'm a murderer. Keep singing the song as if this episode never happened, okay? Thanks.


~Goldie

Kelly's Crab Dip

This is an amazing appetizer dip! I first tasted it at a friend's house, and just had to get the recipe from her. One tip she gave was to be sure you buy the more expensive crab meat because it is worth it.

Kelly's Crab Dip

2 pkgs. (8 oz.) cream cheese, softened
2 T. lemon juice
1 t. Worcestershire sauce
1/2 t. garlic powder
1 t. chives, chopped
2 cans Polar white crab meat
1 bottle cocktail sauce

1. In medium bowl, mix cream cheese, lemon juice, W sauce, garlic and chives.
2. Spread in serving dish.
   
3. Top with cocktail sauce in an even layer.
4. Top with crab meat, flaked onto top in a layer.
5. Serve with melba rounds or crackers.

Qu'est-ce que c'est?

Qu'est-ce que c'est?
What is this? Why is this here? Why do I have this?

So what's with the holes in the knife blade, eh?

It's a cheese knife. It is made for slicing soft cheeses—like Muenster, mozzarella, or brie—without the cheese sticking to the knife. The holes help it release after you've made your cut through the block of cheese.

It also works well with any other type of cheese that you'd like to slice up and snack on: cheddar, Monterey Jack, Colby, Swiss, brick, or Gouda. Makes it much easier to quickly and evenly slice through the cheese without the typical "pile ups" that would result with your paring knife.

I can't recall where I got that particular knife, but I've had it for years. Sometimes I use it to slice tomatoes—if you look closely, you'll see that it has a very finely serrated edge. And the forked tip makes it useful for stabbing cheese chunks to drop into a pot of sauce that you have on the stove.

A cheese knife. An all-around good thing to have in your kitchen.