Monday, November 9, 2009

random amusements

This struck me as being mostly true and extremely hilarious...
Advice from an Old Farmer:

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none.
* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
* Don't judge folks by their relatives.
* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.


* You cannot unsay a cruel word.

* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight. 


* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.


* Keep skunks and bankers at a distance. 


* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.


* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.


* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

* The best sermons are lived, not preached.


* Every path has a few puddles. 


* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.


* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway. 


* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain Dance. 


* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'. 


* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got. 


* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'. 


* Always drink upstream from the herd. 


* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in. 


* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.


* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

* Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.


~author unknown; infinitely forwarded email message




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