My dad's rules...

This is just for the record...my dad had an unwritten list of rules, most of which were reinforced by fits of rage where it looked like either the veins in his neck would burst, or his eyes would pop out of his head, or both, as he was yelling at us. As far as I can recall, these were the lessons that my dad taught:

1. If you had been wearing shoes, that wouldn't have happened. (basically, when you got hurt at all, it was due to lack of proper footwear)
   
2. You're smart enough, figure it out yourself. (my dad's answer to any question)
3. If you don't stop that, you're going to break a window!
   
4. You're not going anywhere until you clean up your mess!!!
5. If you leave your bike in the driveway again, I'm going to run it over! (I actually contemplated this one; wouldn't he damage his car if he ran over my bike?)
6. If you think you're getting away scott-free, you've got another thing coming!!
   
7. You just don't know when to quit, do you?!
8. That's what you get for showing off. (wanting to be good at anything was discouraged; when you eventually failed, even once, this was his reply)
   
9. If you don't take care of your stuff, you're not going to have it.
   
10. I shouldn't have to tell you twice.
11. One more peep outta you, and I'll knock you into next week!
12. If you're trying to kill each other, I'm not going to stop you. (said from behind a newspaper, as my brother and I are fighting loudly in another room)
13. You got yourself into this--now you get yourself out! No one's going to save you!!!
14. If it's not yours, DON'T TOUCH IT!!!!
15. You're wasting lunchmeat! (he said this if you opened the fridge and just pulled a slice of ham out of the package and didn't make a sandwich with it)
16. People in Hell want ice water... (whatever you asked for, this was my dad's response)
    

#9 is actually true. I don't disagree with that one.

And to this day, I follow #14 to the point of feeling like I'm trespassing when I pick up my husband's socks and put them in the wash. Logically, I know he's not going to want to wear a pair of socks that've been lying on the bedroom/bathroom/whateverroom floor, but I still wonder if I should be moving them...

#2 was, as it turns out, a great way to teach problem-solving skills, determination, and independence.

With regards to #15, it is one of life's greatest guilty pleasures! I tell my husband all the time, "Look! Look, I'm wasting lunchmeat!!!" as I eat a slice or two directly from the deli bag. Tee-hee!!!